Is fear holding your back?

If you hear or think of the word ‘fear’, what do you associate it with? I know for me, I would link this word to a negative situation, making me feel small or embarrassed which would likely stop me in my tracks. But what if you could flip that around, and actually associate a positive meaning to it?

I talk about this because often when we hear this word or associated words such as ‘worry’ or ‘nervousness’, it can often cause doubt in our minds, hold us back and cause us additional stress. I have certainly experienced this in the past in many situations.

To help add some context to this, however, I will explain a little more about what I have learned about fear.

Fear is actually just an emotion and is something that we all experience, it is perfectly normal! Innately we have this emotion as a survival mechanism, it keeps us safe and creates a heightened sense of awareness. For example, if we didn’t have fear, we may step out in front of moving traffic or pick up a hot pan with our bare hands resulting in injury and potentially much worse. But I have heard many people say in the past that they want to ‘eliminate their fear’, which I really do understand as I have said this myself. I have learned to realise, however, that if we try to do this, not only is it very difficult/near impossible because it is an emotion that will naturally keep appearing, but we can end up not being who we really are and actually numb our feelings.

I once read a book called ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’ some of you may have heard of it. Whenever I have fearful emotions pop up it is really useful to just remember the title.

Another useful tool I have used from, Marie Forleo (if you want to check out her work you can find it here

This is a process to help work through the fear. I have outlined the steps below. You can use this for anything.

1. Ask yourself and write down, what is the thing that I am actually worried about?

2. Once you are clear on this, write down, what are the worse case scenarios that could happen if I went through with it and took action?

3. Now on a scale of 1-10 (10 being certain that the worst-case scenario will happen) rate the likelihood of the worst-case scenario happening:

4. Now if the worst-case scenario did happen, write down how you would deal with it, eg: what would you do to move through it?

5. Finally, write down all the best-case scenarios that could happen if you take action:

You will find that 9 times out of 10, the best-case scenarios heavily out way the worst case! If the worst-case scenario did happen, you are now also prepared for it and you have created strategies on how you would deal with it so there is no more uncertainty. If the uncertainty is left there, it often results in that chatter in your head that is telling you all the negative things.

Once you have completed the above, you now need to take ACTION! Action is the only remedy to fear, it is the only thing that will help move you forward and switch off that little voice inside, and the sooner you do it the better.

I know that we all have so much potential, but often we don’t do the things that we truly want to do because fear and worry hold us back. My suggestion is to take a moment, and have a think if this applies to you right now? What is it that you would love to do/share/give? And then delve a little deeper to see what it is that is stopping you, as I would hate for you to have regrets later down the line.

The fear will always come back, but why not welcome it, treat it as your friend, and a little sign that may be trying to guide you to somewhere new?!

I hope this is of help and I wish you a wonderful week.

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